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SEXUAL THERAPY

Ml. Mohammad Ashhad bin Said

Medical Definition:-

Sex therapy is the treatment of sexual dysfunction, such as non-consummation, premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, low libido, unwanted sexual fetishes, sexual addiction, painful sex or lack of sexual confidence, assisting people who are recovering from sexual assault, problems commonly caused by stress, tiredness and other environmental and relationship factors. Sex therapists assist those experiencing problems in overcoming them, in doing so possibly regaining an active sex life.

Sexual Therapy in the light of shariah:-

Sexual therapy whereby patients are required to explicitly divulge the sexual encounters that they have with their spouses will not be permissible in terms of Shari’ah. First of all, if a husband and wife are experiencing problems in their sexual lives, each of them should refer the matter to doctors of their own sex and not to doctors of the opposite sex. Secondly, when consulting with such doctors, they should then give a broad outline of the problem/s that they are experiencing and not go into the finer details of their sexual encounters. For instance the husband could explain to the male doctor his complication/s with regard to erectile dysfunctions or premature ejaculation, etc. Similarly, the woman could explain to a female doctor her problems with regard to painful penetrations, frigidity, etc. This type of exposition of their problems should be sufficient for the doctor to be able to diagnose their problems and prescribe some appropriate medical solution. Western sexual therapy that requires the spouses to explain the nitty-gritty and finer details of their sexual encounters and performances in bed has no place in Shar’iah. Such vivid and detailed description would be tantamount to having sex in full view of the doctor.

A Hadeeth of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) warns: -

 “Amongst the worst grade of people on the Day of Qiyamah will be that man who has intercourse with his wife in privacy, but then goes and divulge its intimate details (to others).” [Recorded in Sahih Muslim, Vol. 1, Pg. 464].

 Commenting on the above Hadeeth, Allamah Nawawi (Rahmatullahi alaih) writes: -

“In this Hadeeth man has been prohibited from divulging and vividly describing the details of the intimate contact that he has with his wife.” [Ibid].

 In a Hadeeth of Abu Dawood, Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) once asked the Sahabah (radhiallahu anhum): “Is there any man from amongst you who, when he goes to his wife and closes the door behind him, enjoys the privilege of being intimate with his wife in such complete secrecy that he is also blessed with a curtain of concealment by Allah Ta’ala?” The Sahabah (radhiallahu anhum) replied, “Yes!” Then Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) asked: “Is there any such man who then sits (with other people) and (divulging details of his intimacy with his wife), says that ‘I did this and that (in the bedroom)’?” The men (amongst the Sahabah (radhiallahu anhum) all remained silent. So then Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) posed the same question to the women that “Is there any woman amongst you that divulges these secrets to others?” The women too, remained silent. Then, one lady got the courage to speak and (drawing the attention of Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam), she said, “The women talk of these things and so do the men!” Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) then said, “Do you know what such behaviour is akin to? It is like a female Shaytaan meeting a male Shaytaan in an alley and indulging in sexual intercourse in full view of the public!” [Recorded by Abu Dawood, Vol. 1, Pg. 296].

 On the basis of the above Ahaadeeth, neither would it be permissible for a person to explicitly divulge the intimate sexual encounters that he has with his/her spouse in the bedroom, nor would it be permissible for a Muslim doctor to pry into a couple’s private lives to fish out such explicit details.

 [2.1] In the same vein, it would also be prohibited for a patient to view and for a Muslim psychiatrist to show -as part of the their “therapy” (sic) - such videos to patients that that depict explicit sexual acts. Furthermore, as a general rule, Shari’ah has forbidden us from deploying Haraam means as a “cure” for problems and ailments. Hence a Hadeeth of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) states: -

 “Do not treat your ailments with Haraam.” [Recorded by Abu Dawood, Vol. 2, Pg. 185].

 Watching such explicit sexual acts being performed on video can never be condoned in Shari’ah, and no amount of “therapy” arguments can ever legalize it. Sometimes these so-called western “therapy” procedures even defy common logic! Watching such videos would result in a combination of many sins; for instance watching the private parts of strangers, watching such sexual acts being performed that are meant to be confined to the bedroom, etc, etc.

 We should vanquish ourselves to the Shariah and leave the matter to Allah Ta’ala.